I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
