I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize