You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
