Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
