you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize