You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
That's when you crack a 10am beer
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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