I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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