are you still at the devil's house?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
