We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize