You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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