He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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