When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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