So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
