Sponge bath it is.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
And then he peed in my hair
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