Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
