you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
