Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize