Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
