I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
