It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
