so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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