i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
