i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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