bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
