Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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