So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
