Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize