So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
