Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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