i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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