am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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