i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I still have a little drunk in my system
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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