Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
