508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
