They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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