dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
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