im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He better not be in your backpack
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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