Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize