What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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