Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
