I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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