saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
