I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
