1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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