:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
