Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
