Plan B is the new Plan A
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
