Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I believe in your delicious
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
