it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Ladies don't puke and tell
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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