Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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