Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize