It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
