i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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