The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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