the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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