this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sorry about my life...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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