I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize
