taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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