Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
