just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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