Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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