You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize